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Slow Living Blog

November 22, 2023

How to Have a Stress Free Holiday for Introverts

The holidays have the potential to be magical, but there’s no denying it: they can also be a major source of stress. As introverts, we might find ourselves dreading all that’s jammed into a relatively short period of time: parties, shopping, travel, family time, etc. It’s not because we don’t love the holidays, but because even too much of a good thing can be downright draining. In order for us to enjoy all the holiday season has to offer, we have to set our terms. In this guide, How to Have a Stress Free Holiday for Introverts, I aim to detail how you can reclaim the season and enjoy it without energy drain.

It’s possible to embrace the festive season while safeguarding your energy.

Audit Your Calendar

Start checking your calendar early. Be comfortable saying no to things you really don’t want to attend, even if you feel like you should.

Make sure that you have time between events, too, so you can recharge.

It’s okay to prioritize some social events over others. For example, you might pick three events that are really meaningful to you and say no to the rest.

You will be a lot happier choosing to see people you want to be around instead of forcing yourself to sit through every crowded holiday party that you don’t have the energy to attend.

Define Your Boundaries

There are many boundaries you can set during the holidays to protect your energy.

One of the most powerful ones is knowing when you’ll arrive and leave ahead of time, and sticking to the schedule. You don’t need to feel guilty for leaving early or arriving a little late in order to protect your well-being.

Another powerful one is mentally noting any questions or conversations you’re unavailable for. Whether this is about politics, your work, or relationship status, you have a right to engage only in conversations that you enjoy.

If you’re struggling to find the words to set boundaries with confidence, rely on scripts that are written for you.

Brainstorm Answers to Common Questions

Avoid the pressure (and drain) of thinking on your feet by coming up with answers to common questions ahead of time.

These are some of the most frequently asked questions during the holidays:

  • What have you been up to lately?
  • What’s new and exciting?
  • How’s work?
  • Seen (or read) anything good lately?

Even though small talk can be draining, having answers ready to go makes it easier to manage.

Choose a Reset Strategy

You’ll need some self-care after attending holiday parties even if you have a great time.

Determine how you’ll reset after a taxing social event. This could be taking a day or two off of work, scheduling a solo date, or even going on a day trip by yourself.

Self-care is important for introverts year-round, but it is especially helpful during the busy holiday season when the demands on our energy are greater.

It’s okay to find solace amidst the holiday rush. Don’t feel guilty about retreating to your haven for recharging during the season.

Create an Exit Plan

Yes, you need one, even at family events. Know when you want to leave a get-together, and practice a “script” beforehand.

You should say something like, “Thank you for hosting. It’s been so much fun. I’m going to head out now. Let’s connect again soon!”

During Events

Imagine that it’s the middle of a holiday party. The kitchen is packed, people are gathered in groups around the house, and you are standing somewhere off to the side, taking deep breaths and wondering how you’ll possibly make it through another few hours.

Let’s hit pause. Before you even go somewhere, consider driving there alone. It can give you much-needed headspace, so you feel less worn out by the time you already enter. Of course, if you’re traveling with family, then you may offer to let someone else drive so you don’t feel stressed by not only traffic but the social chatter along the way.

When you’re at an event, it can be helpful to check in with yourself frequently. Take bathroom breaks, head to the coat room, or go outside for a few minutes to recharge.

You should also choose just two or three people to connect with at an event. This helps you keep your social circle small and cozy and helps you avoid overstimulation. Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Embrace meaningful connections but don’t be afraid to embrace self-care too.

After the Holidays

Once all is said and done, make time for yourself. Part of creating a stress-free holiday season for introverts is acknowledging that we may need time to recoup even though the holidays have officially ended.

Check in with yourself to determine if you need to more time to recharge after all the holiday demands.

That might look like giving yourself a spa day, saying “yes” to staying home instead of going out, and keeping things low-key at the start of the new year.

Stress-Free Gift-Giving for Introverts

Holiday shopping can be a major headache. There are a few ways you can simplify the process and avoid all the extra stress that comes from trying to navigate packed stores.

  • Shop online. It doesn’t get easier than this, right? Make separate lists for your friends and family, then order them ahead of time. A lot of stores even offer gift-wrapping options, so you can have a package sent right to your recipient’s home!
  • Consider digital products. These are easy ways to make someone’s day without having to deal with a store. Options include printables (like journal templates, ebooks, and music).
  • Consider subscriptions. This could be a subscription to an app (like Audible), a service (like monthly massages), or a monthly delivery box (like Book of the Month). It’s a thoughtful gift that outlasts the holidays.
  • Consider donations. You can often make donations to charities and nonprofits in someone’s name. This may even include a nice certificate or keepsake gift that you can give them. Donating to a cause close to their heart is a great way to show them you care and do some good in the world at once.
  • Try antique shops for one-of-a-kind gifts. I love choosing vintage pieces for a few reasons. First, they’re more affordable. Second, they’re more unique. And third, they’re always less crowded than traditional stores, especially during the holidays.

Final Tip for Managing the Holidays as an Introvert

Remember to give yourself a gift this year: inner peace. One of the main ways to have a stress free holiday for introverts is to simplify. Simplify so you can spend time with the people who truly matter and on yourself.


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Posted In: Introvert Tips, Wellness · Tagged: holiday tips

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Hi, I’m Jess, a high-achieving introvert who was overwhelmed and burnt out for 10+ years. I broke this cycle, and now I help other introverts do the same.⁠
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If you’re an overwhelmed introvert ready to regain control of your daily experience, send me a DM. I'm here to help you.⁠
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Acknowledge your energy level⁠
Write down one thing to focus on⁠
Set your laptop to "do not disturb"⁠
Walk away from your desk for 30sec⁠
Think of one way to rest & recharge
Anyone can experience overwhelm, but there are uni Anyone can experience overwhelm, but there are unique factors that make introverts more susceptible to overwhelm.

These include: overstimulation, energy hangovers, and the impact of extrovert bias.

As introverts, overwhelm can be a warning that our tank’s nearing empty or it can be a symptom of already being drained.

Overwhelm is a signal from our body to slow down and protect our energy.

As introverts in an extroverted world, it may feel like we have little to no control over what’s expected of us.

But you have more control than you think. You have control over your thoughts, choices, and habits.

As introverted people, we can overcome overwhelm without pushing through, doubling down, or pretending to be an extrovert.

How do I know? I’m Jess, a high-achieving introvert who was overwhelmed and burnt out for 10+ years. I was able to break free from that cycle, and now I help other introverts prevent overwhelm and burnout.

If you’re an overwhelmed introvert ready to take control of your daily experience, send me a DM. I'm ready to help you.

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The second frame says, "3 causes of introvert overwhelm" followed by summaries of the following three causes: Constant Overstimulation, Chronic Energy Hangovers, and Impact of Extrovert Bias.

The summaries are:

Constant Overstimulation: As introverted people, we are sensitive to external stimuli. We can only experience so much before it affects our mental, emotional, and physical well-being, making us susceptible to overwhelm.

Chronic Energy Hangovers: Introverts need time alone to recharge. When we’re unable to recharge, we experience energy hangovers which makes us more susceptible to overwhelm and/or making overwhelm worse.

Impact of Extrovert Bias: Society’s preference for extroverts can lead to negative self-perceptions which can lead to emotional overwhelm and/or behaviors that cause overstimulation, energy hangovers, and overwhelm.
If you’re introverted & overwhelmed right now, her If you’re introverted & overwhelmed right now, here’s what I’d like you to know as someone who's been there:⁠
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-What you’re feeling is real, but it’s not reality.⁠
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Let’s do one of these things together right now to help our bodies get out of fight-or-flight:⁠
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-Take three deep breaths.⁠
-Walk away from your desk for 30 seconds.⁠
-Identify one thing on your to-do list to focus on.⁠
-Set all apps (email, Slack, Teams, etc.) to “Do not disturb.”⁠
-Think of one thing you can do for fun/joy.⁠
⁠
As introverted people, we can overcome overwhelm without pushing through, doubling down, or pretending to be an extrovert.⁠
⁠
How do I know? I’m Jess, a high-achieving introvert who was overwhelmed and burnt out for 10+ years. Now I help other introverts prevent overwhelm and burnout.⁠
⁠
If you’re an overwhelmed introvert who’s ready to bust free of overwhelm now and in the future, send me a DM. I’m here to help you.⁠
⁠
#introverts #overwhelm #overwhelmed #selfcompassion #selfcare #selfacceptance⁠
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Image Description: Photo carousel with two graphics. Both highlight the quote "Overwhelm is not forever" and the URL introvertscan.co
Overwhelm feels never-ending, but I promise you it Overwhelm feels never-ending, but I promise you it’s not. Here’s how I know…⁠
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 Hi, I’m Jess! I’m a high-achieving introvert who was overwhelmed and burnt out for 10+ years. Now I help other introverts prevent overwhelm and burnout.⁠
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If you’re currently overwhelmed and only remember one thing from this post, I hope it’s this:⁠
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Overwhelm is not forever.⁠
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When we’re feeling overwhelmed, we’re reacting to what’s happening around us and struggling with what we think it should be.⁠
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We are trying to control what we can’t and relinquishing control where it’s available to us.⁠
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Overwhelm can take over everything in our lives, but it can also be temporary.⁠
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We just have to choose. You have more control than you think.⁠
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If you’re an overwhelmed introvert and would like my help with managing and preventing overwhelm now and in the future, send me a DM. I'm here for you.⁠
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#introvert #introverstruggles #overwhelm #stress #burnout ⁠
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Image Description: Search bar with the words "is overwhelm forever?" followed by the text: "Overwhelm feels like being caught in a wave: you are submerged, stunned, and struggling to react. But you can surface from a period of overwhelm and find clarity and calm... and you can learn to ride the wave in the future."
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or are a people lead If you’re feeling overwhelmed or are a people leader whose team is overwhelmed, I urge you to join me on Monday, April 24th for a discussion on Tiny Habits for Overcoming Overwhelm.⁠
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During this discussion, fellow coaches and I will share actionable ways to overcome overwhelm. These habits can be applied to your own life or shared with your team.⁠
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Anyone can experience overwhelm, and this discussion is for everyone. But if you’re an introvert, you don’t want to miss this discussion.⁠
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Not only is overwhelm a major energy drain, but it’s a symptom of greater concerns for introverts like being chronically overstimulated, being at an energetic low, and being affected by extrovert bias.⁠
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Plus, it’s free! Register to join me on Monday, April 24th. Link in bio.⁠
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Register Now⁠
Tiny Habits for Overcoming Overwhelm⁠
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Monday, April 24 at 2pm ET/11am PT⁠
Learn:⁠
How Tiny Habits can help you overcome overwhelm⁠
Effective habits for immediate relief⁠
How to apply Tiny Habits today⁠
IntrovertsCan.co
If you’re a high-achieving introvert experiencing If you’re a high-achieving introvert experiencing overwhelm, here’s what I’d urge you to consider (as someone who’s been there):⁠
⁠
What you’re feeling is very real, but it doesn’t have to be your reality.⁠
⁠
You might feel stuck, but you don’t have to be overwhelmed forever.⁠
⁠
Overwhelm can be temporary if you want it to be. It can be managed in the present and prevented in the future.⁠
⁠
And, as introverted people, we can overcome overwhelm without pushing through, doubling down, or working harder to get through it.⁠
⁠
How do I know? I’m Jess, a high-achieving introvert who was overwhelmed and burnt out for 10+ years. I was able to break the cycle, and now I help other introverts do the same.⁠
⁠
If you’re an overwhelmed introvert in need of support, I want to help you. Send me a DM.⁠
⁠
#overwhelm #overwhelmed #selfcompassion #introvert #personalgrowth ⁠
⁠
Image Description: Photo carousel with two images. The first frame features the quote "Overwhelm is real, but it doesn't have to be your reality" against an image of a beach. The second frame features the same quote against a tan background, the URL introvertscan.co in the corner.

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